June 29, 2008

You Oughta Know

This is kind of a post-turned-meme. Basically, Daniel Jr got this from Jod and then, I liked the idea so I'm posting this on both my Multiply blog and main blog located at Inghinyero.

To the Blogger:
1. Write 15 statements for fifteen different people.
2. Post this with no names of whom you dedicated your fifteen statements too.
3. If someone asks them if it is them who you're referring to, don't answer them.

So here are my fifteen anonymous "short dedications"...

1. Hey there. Yes, you. The one with the guitar. Ambait mo. Sobrang I appreciate it when you "try" to listen sa mga "problems" ko which I always confide to you. Hindi mo ba napapansin na palagi kong sinasabi sa iyo mga problema ko, its because I know that you're matured enough to handle the situations and I know that you won't forsake me sa mga alam-mo-na, katangahan ko lalo na sa lovelife.

2. Alam mo nami-miss ko 'yung closeness natin. Lately kasi, maangas ka na at 'di maabot. Dati, buddy-buddies pa naman tayo at magkaklase. Ngayon, medyo naiirita ako kasi parang ibang-iba ka na.

3. Alam ko namang 'di ako ang pinangarap mong makasama nang isang semestre pero mabait naman ako. Masyado ka lang mapili at maselan. Sana naman ngayon, maging magkaibigan na tayo ng lubusan.

4. Hey. Alam mo na-aappreciate ko kung pa'no mo ako ipagtanggol kay ano. Kasi naman gags talaga 'yun. Iba kasi kapag dati 'di naman talaga tayo ganun ka-close. Imagine 4 years na away-bati tayo. Tapos ngayon, parang na-develop bigla friendship natin. Thanks dahil na-appreciate mo at na-understand mo ako.

5. Alam mo 'nung nakilala kita dun sa laro, hindi kita nagustuhan masyado pero you're more than that pala. Mabait at ate-atehan. Thanks for making me feel good kapag may love problems at pagbibigay sa'kin ng kung anu-ano para matulungan ako. You're my online big sister, even if di mo alam :-)

6. Pare, salamat sa pagtitiwala. Alam mo na 'yun. At 'di ako ganun.

7. Nako, antaray mo naman. Akala ko pa naman dahil nga ngayong magkakilala tayo ay magiging "in good terms" tayo pero mukhang ayaw mo akong kaibigan.

8. Mahal kita, hanggang ngayon. Taenangshit, 6 years na. Tapos, si ano pa, nasa ano. Hindi ako nagpapakaplastik sa kanya pero tinatanggap ko na lang na mahal mo sya at ako ay wala lang sa'yo.

9. Mag-usap na tayo. Na-mimiss na kasi kita at 'yung texts mo. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko para lang maitama ang nasabi ko sa'yo. Again, sorry na. I don't want not to talk to the person I once ...

10. Alam mo, hindi lang ikaw ang na-mimiss ko pero buong Bogeez. Miss ko na si Gee Ann at si Bodie dude.

11. I love you. Please always take care. God Bless! Ingat kayo parati diyan.

12. Alam mo dati may crush ako sa'yo kasi ang galing-galing mo sa Photoshop. But, sabi nga ng kaibigan kong magaling, hinding-hindi ka magkakagusto sa'kin kasi siya nga di nagkagusto sa'kin so ayun, dumidistansiya ako kasi baka magustuhan pa kita lalo. Shorttime lang naman 'to. Sana 'di mo ako makalimutan kapag sikat ka na. :-)

13. Dati, idol ko ang blog mo. Wala lang. Ang astig mo kasi. Pero 'nung nikakausap kita ay medyo tinatamad ka atang kausap ako. Sorry ah. Ayun lang naman.

14. Alam mo palagi kong sinusubaybayan ang blog mo, ang cool mo kasi mag-write. Pero may nakapagsabi sa akin na may pagka-berde daw dugo mo, totoo ba 'yun? Hanggang ngayon ay di ako makapaniwala.

15. Ikaw naman, minsan ka lang mabiro. Alam mo kaya ako ganyan sa'yo at tinutukso kita parati kahit patpatin ka't lahat ay may gusto ako sa'yo. Hindi mo mahalata kasi manhid ka at gusto mo ang gusto mo na ayaw sa'yo at nagpapakatanga ka para di 'yun makita. Argh.

June 26, 2008

Restless. Tired. Classes.

Well, classes started three weeks ago and it felt like it's a semester's work already. I have loads of things to do. Loads of articles to read. Blogs to update and reviews to make. I'm quite tired from all these. Add to that, I've been working my ass off for sometime now, I have to finish thirty-two articles in two days time and I have around 10+ more to do.

I'm quite happy that I went home last Friday, since I've got time to rest. It felt like I don't have any work against my back in those four days I've been in Olongapo. The suspension of classes last Monday got me happy (though, it's because of a tragic phenomena) since I've got an extra day for myself, once again.

I've been battering myself lately. I'm reading everything I could read. If there's spare time, I'd do what's needed to be done. I don't even notice that the UP Foundation Day nor the Independence Day have passed. That's how busy things are the past weeks. And it's not even mid-semester yet. To think, we have no examinations yet but things are getting out of hand makes me frustrated, since this means I can't handle all these things at the same time. But I'm trying to get used to it, I just need to adjust a lot.

So yea, this entry's supposed to be a lot about my subjects for this semester. An overview of what they're all about, my expectations and such.

I have only one non-Engineering subject this semester and that's Anthro 10. Honestly, I don't know anything about Anthropology. As of now, my impression of this subject is that it's more of a merge or correlation of biology, history and archaeology.

What I like about this subject? There are a lot of things you'd learn inside the classroom rather than reading from the handouts, that means I don't have to spend lots of time reading about fossils and bodies and senses and all that stuffs. Yes, it's kinda interesting but I wouldn't want to allot most of my time in this subject since I have five other major ones to have my eyes on.

I am expecting a really high grade in this subject. 1.0- 1.5 perhaps.

So I thought I'm done with Math. Here comes ES 21. It's basically the application of mathematical methods in engineering. It tackles techniques and fundamental mechanisms to answer systems of equations and problems.

What I like about this subject? The methods are easy to understand. The professor gives problem assignments every week and allots lot of time in trying to input us the correct techniques to and some shortcuts to lessen the epic-long solutions of the supposed-to-be easier mechanisms in solving problems.

What I hate about this subject? It requires lots of patience, in solving. The examination is made up of four questions, each with epic-long solutions. There is also a distinct method for each of the problem that you're tasked to solve.

I'm targetting a 1.0 - 2.0 in this subject.

Next is Computer Programming, basics of C Programming specifically. ES 26 is a course to familiarize us with the C Programming language which is widely-used in our field, in mechanical engineering.

What I like about this subject? I'll be able to make a program! :) Woohoo. Ain't that great?
What I hate about it? It needs patience. That's why it's allotted six hours a week and two class days. And we're required to take the Finals.

I'm targetting a 1.0-1.5 grade on this one.

Next is ES 1. You all know I failed this drawing thing and I'm doing everything all over again. This time, I'll do everything to pass it and even ace all exams! :) Aja!

What I hate about this subject? I have classes everyday since this subject is scheduled at the "breather day" (formerly Wednesday, now Monday). And I'm taking it up once a week, but six hours a day. :)
What I like about the subject? I'm doing it all over again so I have the advantage. :)

And I'm hoping for an UNO.

I'm through with vector mechanics for Statics so now I'm taking up vector mechanics for Dynamics. These courses are critical points in our ME lives since it means a year delay upon failure of the subject. Statistically, only 30-40% of the whole ES 12 population passed, from the previous years.

What I hate about this subject? Its scheduled at siesta time and you have to be awake and alive for you to get all the information needed to solve the problems to be given to you. It's a really hard subject so it is really necessary for students to solve at least two to three problems a day.

What I like about this subject? Our professor's taking time to teach us the techniques and all aspects in solving the problems. Since our teacher give us detailed derivations and solutions, it easy for us to understand the topics.

I'm expecting a low grade but I'm targetting a 1.0-2.25 grade for ES 12.

Last, but not the least, my first ME major! The introductory ME course and the gateway to my chosen career! ME 63. It's all about thermodynamics.

What I hate about this subject? None really, besides that you have to rely on tables at the back of the book to answer problems.
What I like about this subject? The professor is really nice and she makes sure that everything's understood. I can easily comprehend the key concepts through her (which I won't be able to do, by just reading the required book).

I'm targetting an UNO but would most likely get a 2.0 or below.

Well, it's another semester to conquer. I want my scholarship back. And since I want this badly, I'll have to juggle everything without risking my health and my academics.

Can anyone give me tips on time management? I seriously need them. :)

Happy 100th birthday UP! In line with this, I submitted a photo for the video presentation project and here it is. This was taken our last day in Kalai. We usually do this roomhopping/sleepover thing then. And it might just be our last day to see each other so all 14 of us watched HEROES Season 1 in this room (B206) in Kalayaan Residence Hall. We slept in this room the last night of our Kalai experience. And I remember I was crying really hard the next day since we have to go. :(
Happy 112th year of independence, the Philippines!
Happy birthday to all those who celebrated their birthdays.


I might be going at the Buhay Coke Blogger's Party. Check out Aileen Apolo for the event.

And, I'm on Plurk. I got 20+ karma points days ago and got negatives the past day for, yea, not updating. Haven't even updated Twitter the past couple of weeks. Yes, I know I owe you an apology, cyberworld. I'm sorry.


That's it. And I'm out.

June 21, 2008

TAGS Galore :-) Part 2

As I've promised yesterday, I'll post another tag This one's requested by Bryan and Fiona, both are Multiply friends.

I guess you guys don't know me that much yet. So here are some things about me you might just wanna know. Here's hoping that you'll get a good grasp of what I am.
Mister Engineer IS ...

Good in Math and anything that involves it. I do believe that I'm still good in Math even if I almost flunked a Calculus subject and a Physics subject last year. Since I was in elementary, I'm the top contender of our division to regional competitions. When I was in high school, I'm one of the best mathematics contestant in the division and even went to Pampanga, Bulacan, Baguio for regional and national competitions.

Very interested in microbiology. Geek aye? When I was in junior highschool, we were required to submit an investigatory proposal. I, knowing that I don't fancy Chemistry much didn't take that way, and didn't even had mechanical or physical things in my mind those times. When I surfed the net, I saw some articles about the feasibility of ants as antibacterial or antifungal. Then and there, its as if a bell rang and I thought of substituting termites instead of ants, since termites pesters more than ants. The idea came off good; it was the only project approved by Ms. Crespo (our Research adviser) and it came in third in the regionals. It was also a finalist in the National Regional Science High Schools' Congress in Surigao and garnered second place at the National Science Fair in Ilocos. The title of the project is "Wood Eater, Bacteria Fighter!" What's more fun than going to these places is the experience that I had from gathering the termites, crushing them, putting them into centrifuge, mixing them with other neutralizers and put them into assay plate testing. There's a lot that got me interested in microbiology and biotechnology because of this project.
Not a Galalero. Yep, I'm not the typical teener who's gonna romp the newly-built supermall a millisecond after its opening! I won't even go to these popular socializing events. I'm not the type who barhops or gatecrash parties or something. My life in Manila revolves in the campus. Most of my favorite hangouts are the UP DOST Scholars' Association Tambayan and the Engineering Bldg. Of course, my most favorite spot would be my bed in the dormitory. I fancy sleeping much (especially after classes). Trivia: I've been into Trinoma once and twice in SM North since I stepped my feet on UP.
A Good Friend. Most people might think I'm a snob, a geeky, hateful kid. Well, they're probably missing a lot. I'm a funny guy. I fight for my friends and that means you won't wanna mess around with me. I can easily read people's minds and actions, and that's why I know if I'm coming off too harsh or not. I will do everything - AS IN EVERYTHING - to fight for my friends. Well, as long as I know they're right. Galante din ako. :-)
A Reality TV Show Freak. And I don't need to elaborate. I have been watching Reality shows since ever. I have seen all Survivor seasons :-) I have watched Amazing Race since its first installment and I remember how I got sad when Frank and Margarita lost to Rob and Brennan. This fanaticism might be the primary reason why I'm getting pissed with the crappy franchise editions of this shows in the Philippines.

A Dorm Buddy. I fancy living in a dormitory. For me, I'd rather be jailed here than hang outside the campus and get myself lost in the busy streets of this cruel city. I enjoy accompanying my dormitory friends [2nd Floor Boys ng Kalai] in our weekly isaw trips and weekend shake trips. I also enjoy engaging into chitchats about out oh-so-cruel-college-life and life, per se. I am also fond of bugging them around just to pass boring times in the dormitory. I also love looking clueless and innocent while them getting enraged into an online game or volleyball. We always study together. And I owe a lot - AND I MEAN A LOT! - to this guys. I would have not passed some subjects if not for their help and encouragement.
A Text Addict. I text a lot. I have three sim cards. One is Globe. One is Talk n Text and the other is Sun. I bought new Globe and Sun sims yesterday. :-) My phone got stolen while I was in the MRT. There. I'm adding numbers now and contacting some. Ayun.

A Cyber Addict. Yea. We, bloggers, all are. Anything computer-related, I crave. May it be photoshop, designing, HTML and CSS stuffs. I am fond of making sites. HAHA. And reading lots of blogs in a day. :-) Its as if I can live in the cyberworld na. A lot of the sites on the net na pwedeng mapuntahan, napuntahan ko na yata. A lot of my activities and work, are online-related so ayun. I started blogging kasi ('yung super informal pa) when I was fourteen, I think it was on Xanga. :-) It was when I was thirteen when a bunch of Journalism friends got me into mIRC especially those trivia channels wherein you'll answer trivia questions just for the heck of it. :-) And of course, bragging rights.

An Org Lover. I am currently a member of three organizations in the university. The very first organization I joined was the UP DOST Scholars' Association (UPDOSTSA), it is an organization for the UP DOST scholars. It aims for the upliftment and promotion of science and technology in our country. It also promotes welfare of DOST scholars everywhere. You can visit our website here. I am currently the Vice-President for the Secretariat of this organization. I joined the Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers - UP Student Unit (PSME-UPSU) or Pisme' last semester. We were inducted (me along with my five batchmates which are all 06 ME students) last last June 8. I am currently a member of the Secretariat Committee. I am also a member of the UP Christian Brotherhood International.

A Frustrated Singer. I sing well. Hindi ganun kagaling pero hindi naman out-of-tune parati. :-) I want to join a singing search nga just to measure how good my voice is. Some people tell me maganda raw boses ko, while some (like my mom) easily gets irritated with it. But still, singing is a part of me. I sing a lot. Lalo na sa CR.

Fond of Listening to Rock Music. Gothic ang style ko plus brute force. That matches up my musical style din. Alternative and emo rock really sooths my ears. But of course, I do listen sa other genres. :-)

A Hopeless Romantic. Kapag nagmahal, sobra-sobra. Martir. Lahat ginagawa para lamang maging maayos ang lahat. Definitely aiming for long-term relationship. :-) Ayun. Kahit tanungin mo pa si Kara at 'yung isang kinabaliwan ko, ang mushy ko lalo na sa text. :-)

June 18, 2008

TAGS Galore :-)

As far as I remember, I have been tagged twice in Multiply [by Fiona and Bryan] and once at the bloggosphere. So, since I have nothing to blog about, I will be trying to answer these tags. Don't worry, I won't tag anyone. I just want some of my readers or hoppers to get to know me more. :-) Ayt?

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I'm probably at home watching Rosalinda or Maria La Del Barrio. I must admit, I am a watcher of these cheap Telenovelas when I was young. My whole family's gathered in front of the TV after dinner. I remember, then, dinner's prepared by 6PM and primetime shows start way early.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today?
I have accomplished only one today.
1. Update my blog, read, and check my sites. Accomplished.
2. Review. As in. And solve dynamics problems.
3. Have my hair cut.
4. Attend the UP Centennial Foundaton Day Celebration and CCP program.
5. Post a UP-related post in my blog.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Banana Cue.One thing I like with banana cue is that it's anywhere. Grabe. And so, if I saw a manang selling banana cues, I'd probably buy. Mabubusog ka kasi talaga at masustansya pa.
Ice Cream. I'm in heaven kapag nakakakain ako ng Ice Cream, lalo na 'yung Capuccino or Nangkasoy flavor. Sarap. Actually, kasalanan na naman ng pamilya ko ang craving ko for Capuccino/Mocha flavored ice cream kasi naman tuwing may gathering ang family, hindi kumpleto kapag wala nito.
Wrap Around. Sa UP Gloria's ko ito binibili, may rice na, 35 pesos lang. Mura na din. Para ka na ring nag lunch at breakfast. Madalas kasing di ako nakakapag-breakfast sa dorm dahil di ako maagang nagigising. Ang wrap around ay binubuo ng bacon na ni-wrap around sa hotdog. Sarap.
Shake. Masarap talaga ang fruitshake sa UP. Lalo na ang mangga at melon shake! :-) Sama mo na din 'yung avocado at langka!
Chicken Wings Chicharon. Kinakain ko 'to with kanin at sobrang nabubusog ako. :-) Kakaiba 'no? I miss my habit na after school noon sa RSHS, I'll buy this para lang iuwi sa bahay at isama sa dinner.

4. Places I’ve lived:

Nakatira ako ngayon sa isang dormitoryo. Molave Residence Hall, sa loob ng UP. Ikalawang bahay ko na din ito, sa ngayon. Noon namang freshman ako, sa Kalayaan Residence Hall, sa loob din ng UP, super saya dito kasi ka-bonding mo ang mga freshman na katulad mo.

Syempre, Olongapo. :] Sobrang at home ako sa 'Gapo kaya ayoko umalis ng bansa kasi lahat naman nasa Olongapo na. :-) Ayun. Pero, nasa Maynila ako ngayon at nag-aaral. Gulo ko.

Nakapunta na din ako at nanirahan ng mga ilang araw sa Baguio, Bataan, Pampanga, Ilocos, Bulacan --- dahil sa mga kompetisyon na aking nilabanan 'nung highschool.

5. Things I’d do if I were a billionaire
I'll buy a house and lot first dito sa Manila so that kapag nagka-family ako at nangailangan na idala sila dito like if they're gonna study here, may titirahan sila. Then, I'll buy a house and lot na din sa Subic. Super kailangan may villa kami dun! Ipapagawa ko ang bahay namin sa Olongapo at gagawing ancestral house. I'll buy a car. I'll buy me a laptop din. Syempre, bawat anak at misis ko mayroon din! :]
I'll help my sister to put her kid/s in a good school :] Ayun.

6. People I want to know more about:
Those who are willing to know more about me too. :] And that could be you.

Later, I might post another tag, along with a post for today :-) Hehe.

June 9, 2008

Of Reality Shows, Organization and Other Stuffs

Of Reality Shows
Thank God the worst season of Pinoy Big Brother's over. And it's a huge disappointment that again, it became a charity event-slash-talent search show. The most surprising thing is Ejay, getting the highest number of votes, and was able to pass Robi in a matter of two hours. What the heck.

Again, I still think that those who should win should be those who deserves to win, those who showed a lot and those who made the show worth watching. And Ejay did otherwise, I was bored to death with him. I even want him out than Nikki nor Beauty for being the most boring and most ignorant houseguest of all time.

On Nikki, she's improved. She's gorgeous. Uber. :-)

Robi should have won PBB. I guess it's manipulation at it's finest na naman. I got tired of voting since natalo si Bodie and Gee Ann nung Season 2. Its very impossible for Ejay to pass Robi's votes by like just thousands in just 30 minutes, when Robi's vote rate of change is simply huge. Well, yan ang gusto niyo ABS, nagmumukha kayong charity. Though I support your programs (dahil entertaining sila), medyo nakakainis that those deserving ones were robbed off the win just because they're rich. Like in the case of Robi and Mikee, and Bodie and Gee Ann.

Robi should have won, I don't know with ABS-CBN what kind of manipulation they did (for the nth time) and Robi lost. It's not even because of Robi being the Atenista and being rich, but it's because Robi's the best among the lot and Robi's the one who's deserving to win. Goodness. He's a perfect guy. And I admire him for being real, and for being kind and sincere throughout the duration of the show.

Pinoy Idol
I have just made a website for the bashers and its called Iboto ang Lagpak: The Vote for the Worst Pinoy Edition. Well, you might wanna check the site here. The current project aims to destabilize the stolen murdered franchise. I want the Idol franchise be classy and stunning. Not low class and karaoke-like as most of you have seen from GMA 7's version. It seems like it's a show with not enough resources. To think that GMA 7 is the self-proclaimed #1 station in the Philippines, and that they're bigger than ABC 5 (which by the way, made a sizzling season who came up with a deserving and world class, not to mention, phenomenal winner in the persona of Mau Marcelo, whom GMA 7 robbed off the title of becoming the first Idol winner) and is even miles ahead of their so-called world class franchise. It sucks. So let's just vote for the worst.

I'm currently rooting for Penelope, Jeni Rawolle, Kid Camaya and Mae Flores. I also like JJ Jr. and Daryl Celis.

Of Organizations

I am now a member of the Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers UP Student Unit (PSME-UPSU). Last weekend, we were inducted to the organization! It was a fun two-day activity. :-)

Of Opportunities

I have recently been into the oh-so-prevalent world of SEOing :-) I hope I'll get my much-awaited salary this week. I'm so excited since it'd be my first time to take hold of money that I, actually have worked hard for. :-)

I also got a mail from Bloggerwave saying that my blog entry got approved and I have 10 US Dollars! :-) Yipee. I know it's low, but it's kinda exciting how things are working out just fine for me right now. :-)

I am really excited since I'm planning to buy either a laptop or a desktop computer so I'm really excited even if I have only a bit of amounts receivable by this time.

Of Moving On

Last week, I find it really interesting that my Friendster horoscope says I have to move on. And so I'm accepting it. :-) I'm now trying to erase the feelings for the sake of friendship. :-) So yup, I'm good now. To those who posted comments on my box office hit epic-long post about this person who I have fallen for, thanks a lot. I really appreciate your concerns. Its quite unexplainable how it feels like to have a bunch of strangers commenting on your lovelife, but hey, some of your advices made me feel a lot better.

And Kara even replied to it, I felt the sincerity on the apology part.

Of Schooling

It's the second day of school. Didn't do much on the first day. :-) I'm hoping for a very focused Inghinyero this semester, one who would be able to get grades of 1.0 and the like in his ES subjects, pass it all, and retain his scholarship for another semester. :-)

Please pray for me. And for those who's in college too right now, I really wish you the best of luck. And expect me to pray for your semester too! :-)

I think that's it. That's all I can say, given five minutes to post this entry and the internet cafe's closing already. Yea. See ya later. :-) Comments? Keep them coming. :-)

June 5, 2008

And I'm Back

Back to Manila
So I went back to Manila last Friday, just in time for the University of the Philippines DOST Scholars' Association (UPDOSTSA)'s organized event valled, "Scholar's Day Out 2008" with the theme: [SOEP Opera: Ika-29 na Taong Drama ng Buhay], for this year's RA 7687 DOST Scholars Summer Orientation and Enrichment Program. Since I am the Secretariat Vice-President of the organization, I can't afford to miss it.

Check In
It was Monday. I know that there'd be no chance to get a subject since the enlistment prioritized Freshmen and Graduating students. I started the day eating with my Kuya, then we headed to Molave to check in and leave my things there. Much to my surprise, the dormitory's not yet finished due to the renovation that took place last Summer. Another surprise! OSH assigned me a room and that means me and my co-Extra Dos boys weren't in the same room. Before kasi we can choose our own room. So we have to suck it up. That means no more fun mornights and bonding sessions.

After checking in, I proceeded to the College of Engineering. I immediately went to the Mechanical Engineering Department to get my Form 5A. I then went to Mr. Louis Danao, my adviser, for pre-advising.

Upon knowing that the priority in getting slots for subjects is restricted to Freshmen and Graduating, I decided to meet up with some of my dormmates and eat together at the Shopping Center.

When I went at the office in the afternoon, along with some ME friends, I begged for slots in two of my majors: ES 12 and ME 63. Mr. Denoga was kind enough to give me a slot for both of the subjects. Then, I asked where to enlist for the ES 1 Monday schedule and the department told me that I should go to the EEE department to enlist the subject.

So, I took an Ikot jeep and went to the department. Fortunately, I was the second person to list my name on the newly-opened schedule. I am uber lucky. I'm done with the enrolment. I filled up the Form 5 and went back to the department for post-advising and assessment.

After that, I went to PNB to withdraw and lined up for the enrolment payment. And I'm enrolled. :/

Well, that's all for now. :-)

June 4, 2008


DISCLAIMER: I’ve been waiting days to post this entry. I’ve been thinking if it’s worth a post, or if it’s worth reading, or I’d follow my heart and express what’s really happening quite lately. And sorry if the story’s full of crap ‘cause I’m kinda weak with this thing. Yea, so here’s my story.

I met someone through the Internet a year ago. Eventually, we exchanged YM! ID’s and got into conversations every once in a while. I didn’t expect that Kara (this is not the person’s real name) and I would get to know each other more, and so we exchanged digits. Then came a message from Kara, “Hey. You have a partner?”

Innocent as I was, I told her “No.” And she asked me if I can be her boyfriend. Come on, it was summer. It’s a first (I mean to be approached with such question) and I don’t know what to do. And since I was bored, I answered. “Hell, yea. Sure.” Mind you, she’s pretty, smart and sweet. And she's pretty articulate when she writes on the Internet.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m not really into these kind of relationships, but it was good to know that someone sees me as a boyfriend potential. So, we texted and chatted and texted even at the wee hours of the evening. I thought it wasn’t serious for both of us, but I also thought she liked me and I do, too. So, we’re kinda MU, but we’re together, technically. Not until a month after, when Kara told me that she’s gonna be together with a guy, we’ll name Kiko. I’m quite shocked, but I accepted her request for us to be friends still even if that’s what happened. But that’s not the end of the story...

A month passed, Kara told me she broke up with her boyfriend. She’s suicidal that time. I won’t be specific na lang. I thought, “Okay, she’s free. Might as well grab the chance.” But it was too late, she’s been in one relationship after another. I can’t blame her really.

I let the feelings fly. Since I was thinking, we’re through. We’re over. But one time, when I watched an Engineering affair, she went there too. She’s with her bestfriend. I was texting her the whole time and I won’t wanna show up, because I know she’ll be quite shocked with how I look. We’ve seen each other in pictures on the net, but not personally. When the event was about to end, I went to see her, just to say hi. So, I stood at the back and she was about to leave until I tapped her back and said, “Oy.” And she said, “Oy. Yea, sige ah.!” *she stared at me from head to toe, kinda like evaluating how I look*

Then, I still texted her for days, up to the moment that I asked her to visit me in UP again this upcoming April. She told me she’ll be available upon enrollment.

It was April 1 and she texted me, that she’s in Philcoa and if I’d have some time with her there, to talk and whatever. But I told her, that I went back here in Olongapo. After a few messages, her number appeared in my inbox. “Hey, this is Kara’s sorority sister, she’s on the hospital now, she’s been beaten by our rival sorority.” I was actually worried. Uber worried that I texted someone to confirm the news. I was still exchanging some messages with her supposed “sorority sister”. Then, she eventually told me, that she’s crying… laughing, because she got me fooled. Its April Fools. I brought her worry ‘cause some of her sisters got irritated by what she did.

Then, I felt something. Why do I have such feelings for Kara? Why did I worry so much, of all people, why would I think I’d be the one her sorority sister would tell this news to, eh may parents naman siya. I was analyzing everything, until I came up with a conclusion, I was falling for her. Yes, I know! It’s too late but she’s been giving me a lot of hopes since we’re on. I was still hoping that we’ll still have a chance since all of her relationships as of the time, are all short-term and I’m the type who aims for a long-term one.

So I expected. A LOT. And let myself fall for her, once again. She’s been so kind and sweet the whole time. She’s growing into someone I’m seeing as a real long-term partner. Until one event where we meet again, I was texting her, hoping that we could talk or something. The signal in the area was freaking annoying. I can’t send her some of the messages. I was with someone and I would be very obvious if I’d go take the seat beside her. So I pleased my eyes, staring at her moment by moment. She’s gorgeous, and hindi sya nakakasawang tignan.

We had the chance to talk for a bit, when I was about to go to the comfort room and when I was about to leave. She even asked me that time if I was leaving, I told her. “Uhm, yea, my dorm’s just a few blocks away.” I saw her friend telling her to go with them and mingle with some other Internet enthusiasts so I told her I’ll text her.

So, we texted a lot that day. I’m all mesmerized with her witty comments and beautiful smiles ( I always look at her Friendster profile which has lots of pictures of her). I fell in love with Kara, even if I know she’s currently in a relationship.


Last Friday, I told her I’m at a bar. She’s been teasing me that she has a thing for this guy who studies at a famous university. She asked me what I'm doing at the bar and whom am I with. And I told her that I’m with Mia and we’re watching Bodie Cruz and Ronnie Liang’s concert at Metro. It’s actually quite freaky how she asked where I am and who I am with, it gave me kilig factor. And all I can say is that I’m jealous of the guy that she’s with because she’s so into him. As a reply, I told her that I, too has someone by the name Mia, but it was all hoax. I just told her that too ease the jealousy I was feeling towards the guy she’s talking about.

But two nights before, I told her I still love her. I told her that I wanna be with her still. I told her that she’s the best thing that happened to me, and the most beautiful lady I have ever seen in my life. She told me to make my relationship with Mia work. There. I know, I’m facing rejection.

I was angry at myself for falling in love with her. At the same time, I was crying my heart out, while I was texting her. “Yun na nga eh. Walang Mia, Kara.” And she asked me why I lied about it. I then confessed that I was too jealous with her and the one she’s with, that’s why I made up stories. She then told me it was okay.

All this time, pinaasa niya ako sa wala, and she knows that. That’s why she apologized dahil naging bad daw sya all this time to me. And reading between the lines, I knew she and I, we’ll never be together. I asked her what made her dislike me, and she said: “I have to be honest with you. Being super stubborn. Waah. And, looks din. Ayun.”

I knew it. It felt like it was all a dream, that someone like her, would like me, someone who’d be with her at all times. I didn't know that she's that type that she'll prefer looks over other things. It was hard to accept but I still sent her some messages which really came from my heart. I told her that I loved her because she is Kara and not because she’s pretty or what. I just hope that she loved me for what I am too.

My feelings were hurt, yes. But I am not willing to gamble the friendship, so I asked her if we could be friends. And she said,”Yes”. After all, it was the most that she can do to help me repair my broken heart. I just hope that she has given more time into knowing me well than eying some other hotties.

The best of the story’s yet to come, I can’t even imagine how she downplayed “us” being us to “MU” and to “stuff”. It felt like she denied that I was her boyfriend. Ang loser ko naman.

But then again, it’s too late to apologize. I’ll accept it but I’ll never forget how everything fell apart. I was too in love with Kara. Too in-love that I’ll give up everything just to be with her. You’re my first and it was so hard to let it go.

PS: This story is a lot more complicated than you think. The persons involved in the story are given the pseudonyms since there’s a 90% chance that they’ll be reading this. To those involved, I’m sorry, I’m still in chaos after all that happened. Its what you feel when you’re fairy tale ends miserably. After all this, my mouth is shut about me and Kara. I hope so.

Lastly, shet dalawa na ang theme song ko for you. You’ll Always Be My Baby at Apologize. I can’t believe it. David Cook at David Archuleta ito.



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